I suppose that writing a blog is about being honest and telling everyone that is reading it the whole story not just the things we will be celebrating threw out this journey. That being said we received some very concerning news yesterday. My baby girl has some hemorrhaging on her brain. They measure these bleeds on a scale of 1-4. On the right side of her brain she has a level 1 which is very common and shouldn't cause any problems the left side of her brain is another story. The radiologist said the left side is deff a stage 2 bleed possibly a 3. Let me vent my frustration here the difference between 2 and 3 is massive. To put this into perspective and not to alarm anyone but if a baby has a level 4 on both sides of the brain this is when they discuss removing life support. Olivia is nowhere near this level but you can understand my frustration when they can not give me an exact number. The plan now is to do another brain scan in 7 days. In a perfect situation and what I am praying for is that the spinal fluid will begin to remove these clots much like our bodies handle a bruise and all will resolve itself. The hard part is waiting 7 days. The minutes feel like hours and the hours feel like days. I'm trying to keep myself busy. With everything that is going on with the construction of our home this has been pretty easy so far. Sitting in the hotel or the NICU makes this situation much harder on me and doest change it.
On a better note our visit with miss Olivia yesterday was quite amazing. We heard her first little cry. I let her cry for a min and then began talking to her and soothing her holding her tiny hand. She calmed right down. One of the hardest things for me during this whole process is seeing her so upset and not being able to do anything about it. I wish there was more I could do for her. I would gladly take all her pain for myself if I could. I think any parent would.
Daddy also got to change her first poopy diaper. He was grinning ear to ear and I reminded him how much he loved it and will continue to change those dirty bums when we get home lol. She truly is my angel and I am remaining very hopeful and positive. She is so strong and Im confident that she will continue to impress me and the doctors.
That is so hard to hear. I hope that the next week flies for you. My heart aches for you that you have to watch your baby go through this without being able to do anything yourself about it. Motherhood is an amazing rollercoaster, both the good and the bad. It's all the most worthwhile experience ever, though. We are praying for you and Olivia. Let us know if you need ANYTHING! An ear to hear, a blessing to comfort, I'm really good and crying and hugs :)ANYTHING! We love you guys!
ReplyDelete