Overdue

Let me apologize this post is way overdue.  The truth is it has been such a roller coaster with some good news and some bad then the next day just the exact opposite I wasn't quite sure where to start or what to write, but let me try and feel you all in on my sweet angel.


Lets start with the definite good news.  We received the results of her follow up brain scan and it was pretty promising news.  The right side which is a grade 1 remained the same and the left side of her brain which we were most concerned about ended up being a grade 2 this week.  This is great news and is a pretty good indication that the spinal fluid is beginning to remove the blood clot.  This of course will take time and there is no way to know if there was any damage until she is much older.  I am very hopeful and confident that Olivia will continue to exceed expectations.

Now for the roller coaster ride of having a baby in the NICU.  They upped her feedings to 12cc after the first feeding of this increased volume they were very quick to remove her pic line.  Not to sound pessimistic but I thought they prematurely removed this.  After all this line provides the nutrients she needed until she was up to "full feedings".  Call it Mothers intuition but as soon as they removed this supplemental line she was not tolerating her feedings at all.  Her belly was descended and she was spitting up.  They were forced to drop her feedings back down to 3cc and in turn forced to put 3 IV's in her.  One in her foot one in her hand and one in her forehead.  I honestly had a hard time looking at her that day.  I know how uncomfortable IV's are and they just looked so sore I couldnt bear seeing her so uncomfortable.  I must say that has to be the hardest part of this whole process seeing her so uncomfortable and there is nothing I can do for her.

Now Olivia's latest trick is stopping breathing.  Also known as  de-sat's.  Now let me feel you in on a little tid bit of information.  My daughter has a thing about 4 AM.  Let me explain.  My water broke at exactly 4 AM, I went into labor at 4 AM, the last time she had a major increase in her heart rate it was 4 AM, and not unusual her first episode of holding her breath was at 4 am this week.  Shocking lol ... Now the doctors have explained these de-sat's to me like this.  Towards the end of her feedings which are now up to 16cc  she seems to have some moderate to severe refulx.  Her body then covers her airway in an attempt to protect herself from an aspiration.  This would be a good thing except for the fact that then there is a period of time that goes by with no oxygen.  All the nurses have told me that she self recovers with just a little stimulation, and her heart rate does not drop during these episodes which is a good sign that these episodes are self induced and not a true sign of preemie apnea.  All this being said it is very concerning news to hear that your baby stopped breathing for any period of time.  They have assured me that this is fairly common and they will continue to monitor her very closely.