Frustrated

Usually with me no news is bad news, but today unfortunately I need some writing therapy and hoping I will feel much better after I get this all out in black and white.

Starting last night Olivia began having a descended belly this is very concerning and usually a sign of infection, but if you recall my baby girl is on a strong dose of antibiotics due to her recent UTI infection.  That being said this descended belly was even more worrisome.  They stopped her feedings as of 9 pm last night to see if her belly would possibly self resolve.  Well no such luck.  This morning it was still pretty full and very firm.  Trying to remain optimistic her Daddy and I were hoping it was just gas.  Because of their concern they ran blood work again last night.  Unfortunately this came back this morning with some concerning numbers.  Her white blood cell count dropped drastically.  This can also be an indication of infection.  At rounds this morning the doctor decided it would be the best decision to perform the spinal tap again.  Wow again I go threw the agony of begrudgingly signing the consent form for this terrible procedure.

After accepting the fact that they were going to go threw with this.  I decided my little angel needed some Mommy snuggling time.  The nurse got her out and she fell fast asleep skin to skin on me for a good 2 hours. Such a sweet girl and so content despite the fact that she has had nothing to eat all day and night.

They performed the spinal tap late this afternoon and again were unsuccessful.  After 4 attempts by 2 different nurse practitioner's they were unable to get any spinal fluid.  This is extremely unusual but has happened before.  The hardest part about this is now we are still left with a big fat ? and have no idea what is going on with my baby girl.  They switched her to the stronger antibiotic and have decided to run this for an additional week.  The problem with this is her tiny veins have already had IV'S for a week and are completely worn out.  The only other option to giver her medication is another PIC line.  She had one of these in the past and it is an extremely risky and scary procedure to get it in the right place.  They go threw a main vein that goes right next to the heart.  They do have an ex ray on during the entire procedure, but again another consent has to be signed and Im a nervous wreck.  I just feel so frustrated and like she was doing so well with all her breastfeeding and gaining weight and now we are stuck in this limbo unable to feed her and watching her loose weight.  Enough of my ranting and raving I will defiantly write again and hopefully with some better news in the near future.